Terrorist Suicide Duck Hits Airliner

A close call for this airliner in the skies over an undisclosed location. Capt. Mike Weelzup said ‘yeah, it was coming right at us like it was aiming for us. Just before it hit I thought I heard ‘Allah Quakbaa’ then one helluva bang and a pink mist and feathers all over the windshield. Couldn’t see a thing. It was hard to fly on instruments because there was greasy duck fluid oozing out of the dash and the gauges didn’t like it a bit. The glove box was full of guts and something very nasty dripped down on the brake pedal so my foot slipped off and we damn near hit the fire truck when we finally got down.’ NTSB inspector ‘Crash’ Lahnding said ‘well the only thing we know for sure right now is that the last thing that went through it’s mind was it’s ass.’